simplicity.

top 6 people in your life. =)

2006-06-17T13:58:00.000+08:00

[PERSON ONE]: salihin.
1) How long have you known this person?
* hmmm. 3 months. haha. =p

2) Where does this person live?
* oooh. tampines.

3) Why is this person in spot 1?:
* cause he's been with me almost 24 hours this past 4 months. =)

4) How did you meet?
* haha. weirdly, its just too weird to say. it was all fate.

5) Have you made out with this person?
* as in?

[PERSON TWO]: zarian.
1) Is this person older than you?:
* yeshhh.

2) Have you done anything illegal with this person?
* haha. nope.

3) What song(s) remind you of this person?
* hmmm. kiss from a rose by seal. long story. =p

4) Do you trust him/her?:
* yeshh.

5) How did you meet?
* during rock climbing two years ago.

[PERSON THREE]: fizah.
1) What movie reminds you of this person?
* hmmm. muhammad the movie. cause she havent giveme back my cd. =p

2) Does he/she have any siblings?:
* yeshh. one older brother and two younger sisters.

3)How did u meet?
* in malay class during sec 1.

4) Is this person athletic?
* hmmm. ok ok lahh.

5) What do you like most about this person?
* i know that i can trust her.

6) Has this person ever spent the night at your house?
* oh. nahh.

[PERSON FOUR]: rohana.
1) Who is this person's best friend?
* haha. me??? and a lot more? =p

2) Why is this person in your top 6?
* lots has happened and we're still together as the best of frenz.

3) When's the last time you saw this person?
* hmmm. i think it was 3 weeks or a month ago.

4) Does this person have a crush on anyone?
* hmmm. haha. with ana, i would never know.

5) What do you like most about this person?
* shes loyal to the people she cares about.

[PERSON FIVE]: dewi
1) Do you know this persons parents?
* yeshh.

2) What type of clothes does this person wear?
* ooh. she wear nice clothes larr. the firstperson to psycho me in wearing a long skirt. =p

3) Have you been to his/her house?
* yeshhh.

4) What's your favorite memory with them?
* oooh. i think us working together at breeks.

5) Has this person been to your house?
* hmmm. i dont think so cause i just moved house 2years ago and we were too busy to visit each other houses during hari raya.

[PERSON SIX]: aida.
1) What's your favorite thing about this person?
* well. shes the only one who could really clickwell with cher. =)

2) What are this person's hobbies?
* hmmm. shes all over the place. learning to maximise her time before 7 everyday.

3) What do you think of this persons boy/girlfriend?
* ooh. she hasnt yet. but...

4) Song that reminds you of this person?
* haha. pussycat dolls - buttons. cause she post it at her frenster profile and thats the first time i heard the buttons song. =p

5) How long do you want to stay in touch with this person?
* as long as it can be.

6) How did u meet?
* hmmm. got to know her from idayu. second day of poly.

[ABOUT ALL OF THEM]
Out of your top six who did you last ride with in a vehicle?
* salihin. everyday take bus. =p

Would 4 and six make a good couple?
* haha. i guess if they are into lesbis. =p

Who has SEEN you cry?
* salihin. fizah.

Do 2 and 3 like each other?
* well. they've only met once. =p

Which two people on your list are different from the rest?
* well. salihin and zarian. cause they are the only guys.

Have you hugged anyone in your top 6?
* oooh.

Have you ever kissed anyone on your top 6?
* oooh.

Who have you known the longest?
* rohana.

Who did you last talk to?
* aida.

Who did you go to the movies with last?
* salihin.

Who did you comment last?
* salihin.

Do any of the people have a crush on you?
* haha. i am straight okie. =p

2006-04-05T23:21:00.000+08:00

assalamualaikum.

hmmmm.
its wednesday. pffft -_-'

i was at the skool library.
i was freezing cold. im hungry...
and most of all IM BOREDD!!! =p
sheeesh.

waste of my time coming to skool,
when i found out that its just for 2 hours.

waliaoooo. i cancelled two of my meetings cause i thouught,
it would be the whole day, like the past 2 days had been.
haiz.

i could have enjoyed my sleep just now but, NOOO.
i had to make it for the training at 9am. =p
turns out that it doesnt matter if i was late larrr.
aiyahhhh.

i know i spend a bit more time sleeping.
hah.

its been an odd but nice couple of days.
the comfort. hmmmm.
its already there.

hmmm. and oh ya.
i think somehow my prayer had been answered.

alhamdulillah. =)

his odd question yesterday was adorable.
as in, i think if any other person who would have heard it,
would think that is he ok or something,
but in a way, it made me smile.

i cant explain it for its between Him and me.
He plans for everything in life. =)
im really glad.

his question really humbles me and at the same time,
it touches my heart.
and insyaallah, i believe that he is on his way to the Right Path.
it just takes time, same goes for me too.

the thing is,
it didnt take money nor materials to be touched,
and care for him even more,
but it was the words, the sincerity of it and actions,
especially by his question and
also his cute lion. =)

its just simple.
really.
but it is the simple things that matters the most.

to me that is,
for im just a simple person. =)

maybe,
it is possible for me to love him for Allah. =)

hmmm.
there arent words to describe what it is.
only He knows.

and even though, fate dont bring us together in the future,
im just glad that he has realise something.
that Allah has finally open up his heart more to Him.

i pray for the best of him and me.
insyaallah. =)

2006-04-04T03:23:00.000+08:00

assalamualaikum.

hmmmm.
believe it or not, i just had the urge to blog.
haha.

im supposed to be sleeping larrr.
have some stupid pre-attachment training at skool at nine. =p
but i dont know why,
im unable to sleep now.

haiz.

for one thing,
i didnt get the company that i wanted.
but instead,
i got posted to this company called newsman travel pte ltd.

weird thing is,
now that i realised it,
the name of the company and what i was being told,
didnt tally up that much. -_-'

i was told by my LO [ liasion officer ] that,
the business is selling mens' products.
and that im just supposed to be maintaining the website.
pffft. -_-'

i dont like IT larrr.
haiz.

some more,
the working hours sucks big time.
weekday : 11 am to 8pm.
weekend : 11 am to 3pm.

damn larrrrr.
the timing so awkward. -_-'

how to go out?
how to have meetings?
how to go to events?
how to meet him?
how to be involved in organisations?
how to participate in silat IVP?
how to finally pass my practical?

HOW TO HAVE A LIFE??!!! =p
ARGHHH!!!
haiz.

i almost cried in front of my LO larrr.
it was that bad ahhh.
especially after knowing my working hours.
haiz.

4 months i have to endure.
all the plans that i had planned,
all goes down the drain.
haiz. =(

i asked her why was i picked for this job,
then she said that the tutors picked me
because i have good complexion. -_-'

reason because its a cosmetics shop tooo.

oh mannn.
was i shocked to hear that.
haiz.

SHAAALLLOOOWW!!!! =p

MUISSSSSS!!!
WHY DIDNT I GET YOU??!!! =(

haiz.
sad abiss sehhhh.

but.
im trying to look at the bright side here.
somehow. =s

the pre-attachment trainings are damn boring larrr.
seriously.

haiz.
anyhow.
hmmmmmm.

i miss him.
i really do.

today,
something special happened i think.
for the both of us.

at least i know of how he's feeling towards me.
haiz.

just that,
the fact is still there about him.
thus it made it more complicated.

haiz.

i finally took up the courage and told him that,
the decision lies within him,
and that i couldnt do anything about it.

im preparing myself.
for something.

odd thing is,
im not freaked out like i used to for rasyid and adil.
but im feeling calm now.

its really a different feeling now.

two tests he had passed,
one more that i have to see.
whether is he the one for me.

libra and aquarius.
hmmm.
a match made in heaven.

i wonder.

whatever it is,
i do leave it up to fate.
to Allah.

for i want to love him for Allah,
and not for the sake of love itself.
cause i know that this will be something different.

something special.

something that,
even words could not be brought up to be explained.
but only felt,
and understood by little.

haiz.

i think thats all for me now.
have to sleep soon,
for i still have to go to skool larrr. -_-'

haiz.

wish me luck for my attachment.
and hopefully my love life.
insyaallah.

2006-03-31T12:44:00.000+08:00

assalamualaikum.

just a short entry cause rushing for time.
hmmmm.

it has been two months i havent updated.
and it HAS been another rollercoaster ride for me.
haiz.

but its coming to an end,
as i already had my fun.

its time to come back to reality.

i have learnt a lot this past month
about myself, love, patience and... fate.

yes.

i think i have grown more than ever.
and i just started to believe that there are such things,
as soulmates. =)

but as usual,
im always am doomed not to have a happy or stable,
relationship with anyone.

haha.

to alien,
it was freaky of how we met.
but im really glad to have met you.

the times that we had together and the laughs
plus the lameness that we both had,
will always be with me.

mon cher etranger. =)

letting go of something precious is really hard.
but it has to be done,
as thats what my heart says
and im finally following it along with thumbs up from my mind.

haha.

i have never felt like this before.
i swear.

is it love?

i have no idea.
but whatever it is,
it is something really different.

i am leaving everything to Allah,
for He is the one who planned it all.

insyaallah,
whatever it is,
i wish you all the happiness in life.

2006-03-31T12:32:00.000+08:00

moi et khadijah. =D

2006-03-31T12:28:00.000+08:00

bluek. =p

2006-03-31T12:12:00.000+08:00

geeeeeeekk in the pink. haha. =p

2006-02-28T02:13:00.000+08:00

assalamualaikum.

am really tired now.
apologise for the long disappearance.
just want to say that.

for now.

and oh ya,
im damn tired ahhh.

of everything.

im not going to like nor want anyone to like me for now.
its all just a complicated matter now,
for me to think about it.

GOT TO FOCUSS~!!!

like damn.
a lot of bloody things to be done,
this week and next.

things to be confirmed:

Muslimah night. [ convincing people of concept. ]
Silat. [ meetings and more meetings. until get a status. =p ]
Nur Ikhwan. [ new committee. ]
my life. [ becoming suckier by the day. =p ]
Attachment. [ dont know bloody where im posted. ]
Take up lessons. [ to upgrade myself. ]
gosh.

see whats happening.

all this weeks of not posting up,
bloody lots of things has happened.

i've given up on him.
seriously i do.

maybe hes just not for me.
or the right choice.

just have to focus.
FOCUS~!!!

haiz.

thank god,
exams are over just now.

but.

now,
people are going to 'pounce' on me.
since im now free from exams.

maybe i do need a break.

ok thats all.
have meetings to attend to this week.

goodbye to my beloved month of february,
until we meet again next year,
where i will enter my 20 years in this world.

insyaallah.

2006-02-08T00:38:00.001+08:00

team "SELENGEH". =p hmph. selengehh abisss. kwang kwang.

2006-02-08T00:38:00.000+08:00

the guys. heh. most went home. =p

2006-02-08T00:37:00.003+08:00

most of the girls that came for the retreat. =D

2006-02-08T00:37:00.002+08:00

the "BELO" girls. fizah. khadijah. me.

2006-02-08T00:37:00.001+08:00

team "KENTAL". =p

2006-02-08T00:37:00.000+08:00

team "SELENGEH" building up their sand masjid. =p

2006-02-08T00:36:00.000+08:00

team "BELO" with the sand masjid. WHEEE~!!!

2006-02-08T00:34:00.000+08:00

peace out babe. the team "BELO" is on the move. =D

2006-02-08T00:31:00.000+08:00

eat eat. come lahh eat. =p

2006-02-08T00:25:00.000+08:00

assalamualaikum.

its time
for me to update again.

haiz.

okie.
first thing first.
i already post up some of the pics from the retreat.

and secondly,
uhmmm.
faz ehh?

alamak.

what can i say ehhh.
dont say it like that ahhh.
im not what you think i am.

sheeeshh.

im just a normal person.
His humble servant. -_-'

anyhow,
yeahhh.

the past few days.

hmm.
well, for one thing,
im still sick. =p

getting worser actuali but who cares.
heh. =p

met up with zarian sunday afternoon.
just hang out at saffron.
heh.

has been quite a while.

haiz.
catched up on things.
we had so many things to talk about.
heh.

then after that,
went to bedok corner with saqinah's family and sarah.

oooohhh.

was nice ahhh.
has been such a long time since i eat out with my family.
haiz.

then basically on monday,
came for open tech.
shheeesshh.
had to wait till thursday to present. =p

went to flavours after that to meet up saqinah and fizah actuali but.
i bumped into rufi and the others.
WHEEE~!!! =D

has been so long since i met them.
feez. sulala. and the chem engine guys.

end up hanged out with them for the first part of the day.

was fun ahhh.
for i missed them. =)

then by 5 plus,
had a lot of meeting up with the silat pple.
had to discuss a lot of stuff and all.

by the time i finished with musfirah abt muslimah nite,
it was already 6 plus.

sarah and khadijah was waiting for me.

went to flavours after that.
yeahhh.

then went home.
i was still feeling unwell. -_-'

while waiting for the bus,
i remembered something.
and smsed him.

found out he was in skool when i board the bus.

luckily it was just a few stops.
i alighted and went back to tp.

he was with his frenz at their 'clubhouse'.
heh.

he helped me with my stuff and then,
all of us played BINGO.
haha.

5 guys and a girl.

it was fun ahhh.
to see him in another element.
with his frenz playing games and not being the 'serious' person.

i was just wondering.

after that,
went home ahhh.

then today,
went to skool early to have breakfast with khadijahh.
if eating fruits and bubur is what you call breakfast. =p

just had no appetite to eat ahh.

a quite tiring day also actuali.
for i had to go back and forth,
from my house and tp.

had a meet up with amin abt pentas.

then asked feez whether want to eat.
heh.

i was picked up in skool and we went to saffron to eat.
heh.
was quite curious of how he drives the car.

it was interesting ahh.
talked with feez and everything.
for actuali, i miss talking with him ahh.

like last time.

when we went to the airport to study and everything.
heh.

well.
i just really hope that it was not because he was obligated to ahh.
cause then,
i would feel downright guilty. -_-'

so here i am.

having lots of meetings this week too.
but have to focus on my studies already.
exams in two weeks time. -_-'

silat. muslimah night. nur ikhwan. my family.
hmmm.

anyhow,
yeahhh.

i went down memory lane for awhile.
goshh.
it hurts ahhh.

i've been thinking back again.
about my past.
for all this while i was too busy to think about it.

but my past came back.
and im not sure of my present.

theres a choice that i have to choose.
but of course,
not now.
heh.

for you see,
i feel the same way that i felt last year.
it was the same situation.

but different people.

i care for both.
i really do.

both are extreme personalities of each other.
one serious and another funny.
haiz.

i think,
its not up to me to think this through.

i will leave it all to Him.
bertawakkal kepadaNya.
insyaallah.

maybe im just not fated to be with anyone.
who noes.
except Him.

haiz.

i will not make the same mistake twice.
from the past few years,
i have made mistakes.

took on some risks.

by the end of the day,
i will be alone.

but with Him. =)

2006-02-04T21:31:00.000+08:00

assalamualaikum.

gosh.
im soo sick now.
heh. =p

it has been quite a while since i blogged.
and boy, a lot of things has happened since my last entry.

since the last entry,
well,
it was going to be chinese new year.

anyhow,
theres a lot of people that i would like to wish.

280106 - HAPPY BELATED 20th BIRTHDAY TO NADIAHH~!!!
290106 - HAPPY BELATED 9th BIRTHDAY TO DAYANA~!!!
310106 - HAPPY BELATED 19th BIRTHDAY TO FARIZ~!!!
020206 - HAPPY BELATED 20th BIRTHDAY TO SAQINAHH~!!!
030206 - HAPPY BELATED 21st BIRTHDAY TO AZHARI~!!!
040206 - HAPPY 21st BIRTHDAY TO AISHAH~!!!

woahh.
quite a lot huh.
heh.

ok, with that done.
saturday 280106.

was supposed to go for itc meeting at mendaki.
but, however, found out that my family wanted to go for a picnic at changi beach.
man.
it was a hard decision. =p

i finally chose my family,
for, i havent seen my other family for quite long,
my mom is having off days until my birthday.
[ for once, i can have my mom at home. =D ]
and also,
my uncle wanted to go out with the family,
and it has been hard for him,
being in hospital and all.

haiz.

anyhow,
it was ok ahhh.

managed to talk to my cousins about what i planned to do.

hmmmm.
the beach was packed with tents and everything sehh.
kampung melayu betul.
heh.

celebrated dayana and my birthday together.
heh.

then after that,
i went to bugis to sell something for the muslimah night fundraiser,
with saqinah and sarah.

man.
it took about 1hr and 15 mins to get from changi to bugis.
sheeeshhh.
sakit pantat.
heh.

i wonder how last time i could have 'tahan' with him.
heh.

anyhow,
it was quite interesting selling the kerepeks.
heh.

could even make frenz with the makcik there.

and oh ya.
we learnt something new too.
must always shout "OFFERR~!!!"
then people will come.
haha.

hmmm.
the next day.
sunday. 290106.

the retreat of nur ikhwan at east coast beach.
heh.

i remembered coming down quite early.
heh.
around 10 plus.

by the time i came,
only a few was already there.
i helped the logistics in picking out the location.

it was packed.
the beach i mean.

the retreat started out okay ahhh.
nothing much to be said somehow.
though that idris actuali came.
hah.

cause abdul hakim is his cousin and,
was coaxed in going.
heh.

anyhow,
yeahhh.
it was ok ahhh.

talked a while with him also.
heh.
for the past few days we had a bit of a tiff.

what else is new anyway. =p

yeahh.
the retreat finally ends around 4 plus,
since it was drizzling also.

then,
around 10 of us stayed back.

by then,
there was no more canvas and place to sit.

we just sat on the grass.
heh.
we played uno and taiti.

it was fun ahhh.
heh.

then at night,
when sarah, saqinah and haslinda went off,
on the way home,
we [ salim. imran. hafiz. hafiz's fren. ]
well,
i found out that salim had a lighter.

so, we played the sparklers at the side.
heh.

we had a radio and a hari raya cd.
hah.

we played the sparklers while the hari raya song is blasting away on the radio.
haha.
what a picture we would have made.

a bunch of grown up kids playing sparklers.
heh.

then after that,
we went to mac.
just to lepak.
heh.

it was really fun to get to know them ahhh.

the next day.
monday 300106.
exactly one month since the first ittihadul qulub's outing.

i was very close not coming.
was really damn tired sehhhh.
had to wake up in the morning.

i finally joined them around ten when initially it was supposed to be 8. -_-'
oh well.
only 9 turned up.

np - nizam. taufik.
tp - me.
nyp - ishak. mardhiah. hawanis. ainah.
rp - zul.
sp -rahman.

the day started to become interesting when hawanis fell in the 'longkang'.
sheeshhh.
it was chaos sehhh.
even her bike fell inside.

anyhow,
yeahhh. ainahh went in after her.
sheeshhh.
then rahman went in to get her bicycle.
heh.

now we have 3 very wet people. -_-'

along the way,
we bumped onto ainah's moyang's house.
wahhh.

first time going to someone's house at ubin.
i've post up some photos.
heh.

oh ya.
theres a lot of mishaps along the way.
mardhiah fell in the 'semak'.
ishak had cramps.
and zul lost his wallet.

sheeeshhh. -_-'

anyhow,
after that we went to istighfar.
it was going to be awal muharram.

we stayed for awhile for the doas.

then after that we walked to downtown east to eat.
heh.

zul and taufik bought for me an ice-cream cake from cheers.
heh.
it was so sweet of them.
celebrated my birthday.
advanced. =)

then we went home after that.

the next day though.
i was flat out.
had to go to saqinah's house to print my project.

then on 010206.
[ my birthday. heh. =p ]
i went to skool damn early in the morning just to submit my project.
sheeeshh.

then, after submitting,
i went to the lab to do my pom report.
sheeeshhh.
which is due at 5pm the same day. =p

what luck.

oh ya.
had a call from him at noon.
heh.

wished me happy birthday.

anyhow,
around 3 plus,
while i was trying to finish up my report,
i realised that i forgot another vital part of my report,
which i left at home.

man.
i panicked. =p

there was much more to be done.

finally,
after much coaxing by aida and idayu,
i asked him whether he could send me home for awhile.

sheeeshhh.

i didnt expect that he would.
oh well.

met him up in engine,
but i found out that he had a project,
[ for he was with his project mates mahhh. ]

felt quite guilty ahhh.

it was fast game ahhh.
like duh. =p
haha.

zoomed to and fro.
oooh.

finally,
when i got back to my lab,
my frenz was helping me with the remaining of my report.

THANKS GUYS~~!!!! =D
[ esp idayu, yani, aida and emmanuel. ]

then had a meeting at 6.
talked about retreat.
was supposed to be just a short meeting but then it turns out to be 2 hours long.

around 9 plus after prayers,
we sat down at the concourse.
turns out that they had bought a cake.

for the february babies.

oh ya.
and wani throw a cake at my face.
shheessshh. =p

well.
haiz.
i dont know ahhh.

nothing to be commented.

met yat and siraj at night.
didnt talked much for i was crying on the fon with kak rosnah.
haiz.

then the next day it's saqinah's birthday.
heh.

spent the day celebrating with her eating ice-cream.
hehe.

then we went to her house and eat satay. =D

basically the past few days,
nothing much has happened,
maybe just that i fell sick.
heh.

right now,
well.
i forgot what to write about also.

i just found out also that well,
my so called 'fling' had a girlfriend.
heh.

what bothers me was that he had told me 6 months ago that he wants to be single.
and look whos not.
sheeshhh.

its the lying part ahhh.

but i guess something good comes out from it though.
that luckily im not in a relationship with him.

if i was,
i woudnt know nur ikhwan more,
and would missed out on the wonderful friends that i had made.

and of course,
i wouldnt get to know him closer.
heh.

haiz.

oh well.
it has been almost 6 months since i let someone close enough to care.
but now,
i found out that i do care for someone.

about liking,
well.
thats up to him for im not sure myself.

i think this is my first time getting to know someone at this pace.
but somehow,
its a bit confusing at the same time.

the weird part is,
i no longer am interested in other guys.
heh.

thats really weird sehhh.
because its not like as if we are having something on.
heh.

haiz.

ok lahhh.
i think thats all ahhh.

quite tired already.
tomorrow going to meet up with zarian,
and going out with saqinah's family and sarah.
hehe.

i actuali have lots to say.
but then.
i dont know where to start tooo.

goodbye.

2006-02-04T20:12:00.000+08:00

at downtown east. marks the end of our outing. hope we can go out again soon. =D

2006-02-04T20:10:00.000+08:00

on the way home. wheewww.

2006-02-04T20:09:00.001+08:00

me and mardhiah.

2006-02-04T20:09:00.000+08:00

smiling for the cam. thanks for the cake guys. =D

2006-02-04T20:08:00.001+08:00

stand up and pose people. heh.

2006-02-04T20:08:00.000+08:00

perasan awhile on top of the rock. ala ali setan. =p

2006-02-04T20:07:00.001+08:00

heh. some of us with ainah's moyang again.

2006-02-04T20:07:00.000+08:00

us girls with ainah's moyang.

2006-02-04T20:06:00.000+08:00

all of us at che jawa. ITTIHADUL QULUB~!!! =D

2006-02-04T20:04:00.001+08:00

mardhiah, ainah, hawanis and me at the prayer room.

2006-02-04T20:04:00.000+08:00

zul with the tiger, nizam and taufik with the jiwang pose and me with the cool pose. heh.

2006-02-04T20:03:00.000+08:00

the entrance of ainah's nenek moyang's house at ubin. wheee~!!!

2006-02-04T20:02:00.000+08:00

a short breather. smile everyone. =D

2006-02-04T20:01:00.000+08:00

a snapshot by rahman while waiting for ishak and nizam to return with a new bike.

2006-01-27T01:39:00.001+08:00

assalamualaikum.

it has been awhile since i updated.

oh well.
cant help it ahh.

been really busy with projects.
sheeeshhh. -_-'

anyhow,
yeahh.

i finally post up the photos.
heh.

was during the tp open house.
18-20 january.
yeahh.

luckily theres aida for me to 'fight' with.
or else.
hmmmm.

i would just be stuck with doing the bunga tp. -_-'

actually,
im really tired now.

this 12 days since the last update,
has been quite rough on me.

haiz.

i would just love it when my projects are all done.
but.
hmmmm.

there are also other stuff too.
haiz.

whateverr larrr.

actually i got lots to say but,
i think i should go to sleep now.

have to meet sarah tomolo morning to do my project.

have been waking up in the morning this past few days.
hmmmm.

anyhow,
yeahhhh.

i dont think im going to china.

already selected the companies in singapore.
i was given a lot of choices and have to pick my top 5.
well,
they are :

MUIS, Singapore Post, Pan Pacific Hotel, Walt Disney and Ministry Trade and Industry.

hmmm.
yeahhh.

chose it along with cik qinahhh.

hopefully i can get any one of them ahh.
insyaallah.

haiz.

now have to focus already ahhh.
on my studies i mean.

something puzzling happened to me though this past few days.

i realised that i dont like anyone anymore.
like serious.
hah.

it just fades away.

woahhh.
this is a record.
hah.

and also like now,
i dont have the want or need to like someone
and vice versa.

this is good.

i can concentrate on more important stuff.
heh.

maybe i should be like my fren.
get matchmaked or something.
hah.

hmmmm.
i wonder if i can get children without getting married.
heh. =p
[ dont think otherwise hahhh. ]

this weekend is really jam-packed.

how i wish i could be in more than one place at one time.
heh.

filled with meetings, outings and of course,
finishing up of projects. -_-'

haiz.

oh well.
i really should go now.

veryyy tiredddd.

i apologise to those who thinks that im neglecting.
im not.
im just busy. -_-'

haiz.

though i do miss my friends.
especially my 9 special friends. =(

updating next week sooonnn.

2006-01-27T01:39:00.000+08:00

me and aida again. close up. =)

2006-01-27T01:37:00.000+08:00

3 blurry figures. moving in grace. =p

2006-01-27T01:35:00.000+08:00

come and get me. =p

2006-01-27T01:34:00.001+08:00

the blurry moves of us.

2006-01-27T01:34:00.000+08:00

starting of the sparring sequence. girls.

2006-01-27T01:33:00.002+08:00

in action.

2006-01-27T01:33:00.001+08:00

fierce sehh syahrul. =p

2006-01-27T01:33:00.000+08:00

starting of the 'royal rumble'

2006-01-27T01:30:00.000+08:00

preparation before the first performance.

2006-01-27T01:29:00.000+08:00

sweet arent we? hehe. we dont bite. =p

2006-01-27T01:25:00.001+08:00

silat temasek. first time performing at tp open house. =D

2006-01-27T01:25:00.000+08:00

me and aida. hiyaaakkkk~!!! haha.

2006-01-15T23:36:00.000+08:00

assalamualaikum.

hah.
has been like 5 days since i blogged.

oooh.

and in these 5 days,
as usual,
a lot of things has happened.

yeahhh.

apek already turned 19.
heh.
on 120106.

cedebahhhhh.

never mind.

i'll catch up with you sooon.
haha.

oh ya.

happy 19th birthday to afifah tooo. =D
which is today.
heh.

now i've covered the birthdays,
let me cover what has been going on these days.

hmmm.

one thing.
yeah.

he did call.
once.

ooooohh.

yeahh.
just had a hell of a day on thursday. 120106.

had a last mintue silat meeting.
things are not looking up that good.
haiz.

curse temasek polytechnic.
especially the ones handling the school.
pfffffff. -_-'

yeah.

came home with a heavy heart that night.
worried sick about the silat club.
and some more there is going to be a performance for open house.

was cooking maggi,
when my handphone rang.

was thinking and cursing of who the heck would be calling me,
and lo and behold,
it was him.

hah.

he hang up before i had the chance to pick up,
so i messaged him,
asking did he call or did he dialled the wrong number.
hah.

he called again straight after.

yeahhh.
i guess the call was what i was waiting for.

i didnt realise it until my friends told me that my mood was better,
the next day.
hah.

what else can i say right.
haha.

crashed fizah and saqinah's lecture on friday. 130106.
after my lecture was done.
all we talk through out was about each of our own.
hah.

realised that mine and fizah's had almost the same name.
haha. =p

it was the season for love.
among us that is.
haha.

then after that hang with khadijah.
and later on with sarah and saqinah.
yeahh.

had spent quite a lot of time with these people.
yeahh.

love them to bits now.
my nur ikhwan peeepz.
hehe.
[ i can rhyme too fizahh. =p ]

oh ya.

right now im having a dilemma.
about my attachment.

to stay in singapore or go to china?

haiz.
what a confusing decision.

there are a lot of pros and cons for each.
whereby in singapore, i at least would get allowance each month.
and, i have a lot of commitments here.

nur ikhwan, miq, muslimah night, silat, work?

yeahhh.
how sehhh???

if i go to china,
well.

it is a once in a lifetime experience.
and i get to travel,
like i've always dreamt of doing.

haiz.

4 months.
imagine 4 months being in china.

woahhh.

on saturday though,
had silat practice for the open house performanc next week.

went to my grandma's house after that.

and had a conference that night.
about preg talk.
follow up in east view secondary.

it was ok.
i guess.

but the ending,
was a bit weird,
and it was still confusing me till just now.

hah.

weird person. =p
what only sehhh.

sheeeshhhh. -_-'

no right to call people like that.
but oh well,
that someone at last apologised about his lack of words. =p

yeahhh.

i think its enough ahhh.
i mean for me to go on.

at least he did called me.
hah.

going to be really busy this week.

having lots and lots of meetings,
plus performances for the open house.

samba and silat.

sheeshhh. -_-'
i think going to quit samba ahhh.

tooo many things too be done.

oh ya.
not forgetting projects.
haiz.

two being due on my birthday sehhh.
haiz. -_-'

im tired.
really.

hah.

just cant wait until march comes.
yeahhh.

then by then,
a new semester would be soon approaching.
somehow.

so fasttt.

haiz.
going to miss the present committee. =(

oh well.

should go to sleep now.
update soon.

somehow.

haha.

2006-01-11T15:07:00.000+08:00

assalamualaikum.

ARGHH~!!! =p
ok lahhh.
just letting off stress.

right now im feeling sooo.

i feel like killing him.
hmph.

ok.
relax.

im just going to talk about yesterday.
yeahh.

hari raya aidiladha.

woke up late.
hah.

the same old story every hari raya.
haha.
until fizah also understand understood.

didnt get to pray with saqinah and sarah as was planned to.

was raining quite heavily also yesterday morning.
but it was ok.
managed to pray also.

' hujan rahmat '.
hehe.

anyhow,
me and fizah [ like for the past few years. ]
we took the second prayer since it was full the first time.

yeah.

has been quite a while since i saw her,
ever since she started her second year in jc.

was fun.
make quite a lot of wisecracks as usual.
haha.

then after that,
we hang around ghufran.

to wait for the inevitable.
the ' selembeh' ing of the ' kambings'.
MBEEEKK~!!!

it started actually around 10 am,
but by 9 plus,
a crowd already had gathered in front of the masjid.

luckily we also was in front to witness it.
haha.

like very 'kiasu' sehh everyone there.

we were like watching free show,
starring the 'kambings' and the volunteers.
haha.

i actually stick through the whole thing.
from the first 'kambing' to the last.
haha.

the volunteers are all guys.
like duh.
haha.

quite a lot of them i know of.

what i was a bit shock in seeing was razali and remy.
haha.

the others who are helping are like mokhsin, azra'ie, salim, asrul, muhammad,
and some of the juniors that i know of.
hah.

most of the guys did the dirty job
except, for asrul.
hah.

he just did the admin job. -_-'

it was raining.
well.
it rained when we were watching the 'show'.

fizah and her cousins accompanied me in the morning.
then saqinah came.
then sarah.
then another fizah.

haha.

at last,
we all went back around four,
finally witnessing the last 'kambing'.
haha.

dirty sehh.
my clothes. =p

well.
it was an experience ahhh.
hehe.

will never forget it. =)

then after that went straight to my auntie's house.
but i was tired.

so after that went straight home.
instead of going to my grandmas.

haiz.

then still.
it was still on my mind.

that basket.

sheeeshhh. -_-'
i should stop.

seriously.

why isnt that someone.
uhmmm.

i dont know.

i think thats for all now.
should change my brain.
haha.

2006-01-11T02:35:00.001+08:00

calm down the sheep.

2006-01-11T02:35:00.000+08:00

behold. the sheep. nearly headless.

2006-01-11T02:33:00.003+08:00

carrying of the sheep.

2006-01-11T02:33:00.002+08:00

waiting in line.

2006-01-11T02:33:00.001+08:00

the last stare goodbye.

2006-01-11T02:33:00.000+08:00

the crowd crowds around the sheep.

2006-01-11T02:31:00.000+08:00

it has started.

2006-01-11T02:30:00.000+08:00

starting of the herd. 'sembelih'-ing time. haha.

2006-01-11T02:29:00.000+08:00

the sheeps. waiting.

2006-01-11T02:25:00.000+08:00

after the first prayer.

2006-01-11T02:22:00.000+08:00

muslimin and muslimah. outside the masjid.

2006-01-11T02:20:00.000+08:00

aidiladha. masjid darul ghufran. 100106.

2006-01-08T19:34:00.000+08:00

assalamualaikum.

hmm.
i seriously need to start doing my projects.
haiz.

im soo dead bored.
of them ahh.
brain dead when it comes to do my projects. -_-'

i think im just going to finish this update and sleep.
arghhh.
maybe tomorrow morning i could do it.
insyaallah.

haiz.

just now i was trembling and shivering like mad.
for i had been patient and finally snapped.
my sister was too much.

if she was quiet like as her to do and
NOT fight back,
i wouldnt have lose it and hit her.
haiz.

now im slowly calming down.

right now,
im just feeling really frustrated.
with everything.

i think i should really calm down
or better,
sleep.

i wish.

just stayed at home today.
trying to get a start on my projects,
but to no avail.

yesterday after the meeting,
all of us went to kampung chai chee to eat.
haha.

it was really interesting.
because we watched this hindustan together.
it was on tv.
and all of us had fun watching it.

it was my first time watching hindustan with my friends
and laughing about the plot and all.
hehe.

it was cliche.
we could predict what happened and all in the movie.
hehe.

then at last,
four girls and a guy,
went to arab st.

it was fun.

talked to ashraf on our way home.
haiz.
it gave me that ray of hope.
that,
there might be a chance.

hah.

i know that i shouldnt be talking about hope.
but.
for once, it was a nice feeling.

and still now,
i cling to that ray of hope.

i am giving myself the benefit of a doubt.
that i do care for that someone.
just for now.

let me just admit it before,
i changed my mind.

hah.

its already the beginning of january.
that particular days are coming.

and i hope that it would be different this year.
as long as i get over the 10th,
im ok.

february comes,
yeahh.
even though its my favourite month but,
it was kind of bittersweet for me last year.

so.

hopefully i can get through this two months,
without any thought of what had happened last year.
yeahh.

and oh yeahh.

dont worry lahh people.
doesnt mean im sad,
im not happy.

this is just where i typed out my thinking
and unfortunately,
it turned out sad.
somehow.
haha.

yeahh.

maybe its stupid for me to think it about it more.
maybe just maybe for now.

im tired.

thanks to those who had been listening to me.
i really appreciate it. =)

till here then.
insyaallah.

may He will always be with me.

2006-01-07T00:28:00.000+08:00

assalamualaikum.

hah.
been days. =p

ok lahh.

so far,
this few days has been,
confusing for me.

as i've said before,
school has started and so far,
i didnt make it for the lectures this week.
hah.

bad bad resolution. =p

let me see.
040106 wenesday.

suposedly the first training for silat temasek.
but there were complications.
as usual.

oh ya.

i got some free food too.
haha.
sensory evaluation for the applied science major project.
ok lahhh.
was free food anyhow.

ahhh.

tis the day that i got angry with him.
kind of.
woahh.
was holding in ahhh.

thank god for fizah. =)

the silat training didnt go as planned ahh.
becasue of the will@tp thingy,
space was taken up.

thus, we had problem where to train.
basically last minute stuff that happened.
hah.

the bloody skinny biAtch in a miniskirt.
man.
she is soo bloody irritating.
beacuse of her we cant train at the sports hall. -_-'

however,
it turned out okay.
[ well. all are guys anyway. i am the only girl. -_-' ]

might be having a performance during open house.
MIGHT only. =p

050106 thursday

hmmm.
hang out with khadijah and saqinah.
then went to cyber centre while waiting for the meeting at 6.

most of the members cant make it soo,
at last it was the same old people.
oh well.

my first time initiating a meeting.
was quite nervous actuali.
hah.

it went...
ok i guess.
but not the way that i want it.

oh well.

oh ya.
maybe i got irritated somehow,
a bit ahhh
the jibes about iz and me.

man.

i dont mind if both of us are single
but, im soo embarassed for one has another.
and.

ARGHH~!!!!

that someone bloody irritating.
sheeshhh.
what do you think i am. =p

after the meeting,
went over to the stadium to see the will@tp.
going to be for 24 hours sehh.

oh well.

then me and imran went over to asrul's lab to help do his project.
hmmm.
luckily i can do.
somehow.

found out i know his fren, amir.
haha.
from silat also and he's subhi's cousin.

what a small world right. -_-'

then me and imran went to sit somewhere near school,
to do both mine and asrul's project.
sat there until one.

asrul went there to send imran home.
i took a cab.
hah.
no walking. =p

went home and slept.
hah.
woke up at 6 just to finish my project.
sheeeshh.

missed both lectures today. =p

was late meeting khadijahh.
hehe.
then went to asrul's lab again.
help him out.
plus doing my project.

then in class finally found out can be handed in next week. -_-'

sheesshhh.
waste my time sehhh.
i could have slept. -_-'

talk with fizah.
haiz.

was quite helpful.
since i managed to talk about that matter.
which im still confused about.

do i just want to admit it or not?

i am still in this 'jiwang' mood.
which is pretty dangerous.
but at least,
i dont think about my ex anymore.

its a progress. =)

woahh.
its going to be almost a year already when i first got attached.
so many things can happen in just one year.
haiz.

and now,
i may like another.

something that im absolutely scared to think about.
another him.
for i know,
i would be hurt again.

and the hurt was really deep.
haiz.

imran told me that just better being single.
yeahh.
thats true.

who says that i wanted to rush into a relationship.
no no no.
a lesson learnt from last year.

no more rushing. =p

but,
its not wrong to care for someone right?
more.

last ramadhan was special for me,
for i had changed for the better.
thanks to that someone.

haiz.

i realise that i do.
but.
is it mutual?

well.
i think i just end it here for tomorrow got meeting in the morning.
at fmsa.
about miq.

sorry for being 'jiwang'.
haha.
though i had pass the 'jiwang'ness to arif and aisha.
heh.

when night time only,
will 'jiwang' with arif about kal ho naa ho.
haha.

oh well.

insyaallah i can stop.
hehe.

2006-01-07T00:24:00.000+08:00

me and cik qinah. at tm. haha. last day of 2005.

2006-01-07T00:23:00.000+08:00

melodrama di dalam bus. =p

2006-01-07T00:22:00.002+08:00

weiii. saperr tuu pijakk kasuutt kuu. =p

2006-01-07T00:22:00.001+08:00

adi. remy. [nypmss. ]

2006-01-07T00:22:00.000+08:00

npmss ngahh relakkk. =p

2006-01-07T00:21:00.003+08:00

adi. hazirah. [ nypms. ]

2006-01-07T00:21:00.002+08:00

the npmss peepz. =D

2006-01-07T00:21:00.001+08:00

aperr yang difikir kann tuuu.

2006-01-07T00:21:00.000+08:00

this are the people on stage. talk, boring. =p

2006-01-07T00:18:00.000+08:00

ahhh. manerr kiterr nii??? asal tutup mata cik qinah. =p

2006-01-07T00:17:00.000+08:00

hazirah. me. fizah. at marsiling cc. bored. =p

2006-01-07T00:16:00.000+08:00

me and fizah in the bus on the way to marsiling cc. doing stupid faces. haha.

2006-01-04T00:25:00.000+08:00

assalamualaikum.

haiz.
im really tired.

cant even focus on my project.
and im having butterflies now in my stomach.
for tomorrow is the first training of silat temasek.

i just hope it all goes well.

school has started,
and i didnt go to my first lecture of this new term.
sheesshh. -_-'

what a way to start a new year and term.
oh well.

there was a reason.

hmmm.
then just now basically went to this samba drum thing.
a cca.
which i cant make it.

for i have silat training on wednesday.

haiz.
it was fun.
somehow.

too numb to think now seh.

i dont even know what im typing now.
just that well,
i have been watching kal ho naa ho.

again.
haha.

right now im starting to be on autopilot.
which is actuali quite freaky ahh.
for i had been through it before.
when i was working at samar last time. -_-'

when im on autopilot,
i cant stop and think.
have to think on my feet,
for if i stop,
then i would lose my rhythm.

so,
i apologise if now im having problems to understand some stuff.
just that my brain has too much inside.
and i just dont have the strength to go through it. -_-'

projects and more projetcs.
yeah.

i can do it.
insyaallah.

i guess i got nothing much to say
for i am typing in my 'sleep'.
with eyes half-closed.
hah.

i think i just do the project tomorrow ah.
man.

i am still a procrastinator.
sheeesshh. -_-'

something to be changed this year.
hopefully.

oh ya.
i just cant stop feeling a bit disappointed.

guess im just used to the calls.
but.
no more now.
hah.

have to stop getting used to it.
for it wont come again.
remember,
i dont want to hope.

no more.

just let me see people happy ahhh.
and i'll be fine. =)

that is all.

2006-01-02T22:11:00.000+08:00

assalamualaikum.

hmmm.
its the middle of the night of 3rd Januray 2006.

its ADI's birthday.
hehe.
HAPPY 19th BIRTHDAY~!!!!
[ man. already 19. sheesshh. i would be soon. =( ]

cant stop watching 'kal ho naa ho'.
ok lahh.
i know.
hindustan?

haha.

its just according to my mood now.
letting myself to watch this kind of romantic stuff once in a while.
for it has been 5 months since i actuali had experienced it.
romance i mean.

haha.

ever since that,
i didnt let myself to have an inkling or a notion of romance to interfere with my life.

it was both bad and good.

the bad thing is that for those who wants to get to know me better,
i didnt or basically i wasnt interested,
for it was enough for me.
in one year.

the good thing,
i didnt get hurt.
again.
for the third time.

what i have realised last year was that i am a romantic.
hah.

it was a surprise for some of my friends when they found out.
for me too.
haha. -_-'

i had the notion of being single and looking this year.
but.
i am going to throw away that notion.
for i am not going to look.

i have had enough.
i just wished that my heart believes the same thing too.

haiz.

school's going to start again tomorrow.
and finally my mum is having her day off for how many months of non-stop working.
sheeeshh.
bad timing. -_-'

today just basically went to miq meeting at fmsa.
thats all.
then go back home.
hah.

dont know ahh.

what to do with my projects. -_-'
very tired to think of it also.

ARGHHH~!!!! =O

just bloody tired.
heh. -_-'

its the same thing everyday.
nothings changed.

man.
the movie is soo sad. ='(

'kal ho naa ho' i mean.

haha.
well.
yeah.

haiz.

i am not going to allow myself.
to like.
to love.
please.
let me be strong.

why is it that im always thinking.
of him.
whoever he is.
hah.

damn.

stop thinking lahh fadz. -_-'

if only i have no feelings.
hah.

no use saying 'if'
for it wouldnt happen. -_-'

well.
what else can i say.

yeahh.

now im feeling numb.
again.

haha.

im going nuts. -_-'

keep listening to the ' farshi turab' song.
' dust is my bed '
yeahh.

just waiting for it.
heh.

please.
i dont want to think anymore.

haiz.

i am just a contradiction of myself.
sheesshhhh.

now im talking nonsense.

oh well.
i think its due time that i sleep.

i hope this new term would be fine for me.
hopefully.

that is all.

2006-01-01T21:57:00.000+08:00

assalamualaikum.

gosh.
im in shock. -_-'

you have no idea how shock i am.
my jaw is still wide open,
and i didnt realise it.

oh my goodness.

i didnt know that such things still happens in this time.
matchmaking???
sheesshh.

i have heard of girls being matchmake
but GUYS???
man.

i dont even know what to say.

luckily it was on msn.
for i think if its on the phone,
i would have had my jaw dropped to the ground
and there would be a very long silence.

of shock. -_-'

he is getting engaged soon.
and i mean REAL soon.

wow. =O

i am sorry but,
its like real fast.

i remembered knowing him in secondary school.
my infatuation for him was so obvious,
that it didnt even work out in the end.
except that i know that he knows,
and didnt do anything about it.
hah. -_-'

today is just tooo....

i dont know.
i cant,
i feel like i cant handle it.

i really feel like going to the beach.
just to relax myself.
be with my own thoughts,
with the wind blowing in my face.

the sky wide above me,
the water far in front of me,
feeling Him with me.

i spent my new year basically,
watching vcds.

woke up around twelve.
heard my mother's voice.
and all i can ask myself was,
whether am i dreaming.
for she should be at work.

went out with the anticipation that it was her day off.

but.
it wasnt.

just that shes going to work a bit later.

cant help feeling a bit disappointed.
for i missed her being at home.
i think my sisters do too.

we missed her cooking.
we missed eating at home.
having her around would make some difference at home.
all i know that me and my sisters missed being a complete family.

it really has been a long time.

i am just sad that,
i am helpless.
useless.
to make things right.

while my sisters were sleeping,
i watched ' kaal ho naa ho'.
and 'kuch kuch hota hai'.

i have decided,
to close my heart.
for that someone.

its just stupid to hope for something impossible.

for i wouldnt accept myself to be happy,
till my family is.
especially my sisters.

i hate being selfish.
i hate being angry and having to feel sad after.
i hate being helpless.

let others be happy but not me.

for i am afraid.
of things to come.

i accept death.
i welcome it.
for i know,
i felt since young,
that i never did belong.

i am not feeling sorry for myself,
for that,
i have outdone myself.

its a fact.
and only He knows how i feel.

i want to see my sisters being married of with good husbands,
whom could help them to the Straight path.
whom could open up their hearts to what is life.

i prayed for my father to repent and love my mother more.
for that, would make her very happy.
which i havent seen for so long.

truth be told,
i havent seen anyone in this house happy.

and now,
i might just have set aside a friend.
a good one.

for my own stupid reasons.

its hard to explain.
for it is just me.

i have live as long as i could remember being indebted to people.
and i dont want to feel more indebted to others.

i cant blame my father for it.

but however,
for that reason alone,
i had initiate misunderstandings.

i have been independent.
for as long as i could remember.
for i have to.

life is about choice.
someone told me that.

well.
my choice now is to make others happy.
though im really useless in doing that,
but i still pray.

to Him.
always.

haiz.

dont worry guys.
im not depressed or whatsoever.

i think for now,
i got nothing else to say.
except that,

the star and the moon.
fizah's analogy.

well.
i had enough of it.

as i've said,
its a waste of time to hope for the impossible.
and that is for someone to really love me.
hah.

im speaking this from experience.
heh.

i am going to get rid of this notion of wanting to fall in love.
for even though i do want it,
i cant.

i find joy in seeing couples happy.

maybe i should just be a matchmaker.
haha.

that is all.
insyaallah other time.

2006-01-01T04:36:00.000+08:00

the PREG talk crew after the first PREG talk in east view sec. =D

2006-01-01T04:16:00.000+08:00

end of the night.

2006-01-01T04:15:00.002+08:00

end of the day. awww. last pic together.

2006-01-01T04:15:00.001+08:00

me. arif.

2006-01-01T04:15:00.000+08:00

below the esplanade. camera hogging again as usual. heh.

2006-01-01T04:12:00.000+08:00

time for posing. =)

2006-01-01T04:11:00.001+08:00

the 'finger' star. representing all 5 polys. coming together. working together. =)

2006-01-01T04:11:00.000+08:00

at esplanade library. art of taking photo behind mirror. hah.

2006-01-01T04:10:00.000+08:00

cool ahh. haha.

2006-01-01T04:09:00.000+08:00

by the singapore river. haha. supermann ahh. =p

2006-01-01T04:08:00.000+08:00

the only four girls present. [ me. ain. wani. raudha. ]

2006-01-01T04:07:00.001+08:00

all eleven of us. eat.

2006-01-01T04:07:00.000+08:00

lets orderrr.

2006-01-01T04:06:00.000+08:00

in the tunnel. below.

2006-01-01T04:04:00.000+08:00

all eleven of us at bugis. ittihadul qulub. [ rp. tp. sp. np. ]

2006-01-01T02:58:00.000+08:00

assalamualaikum.

its already 1st jan 2006.
and my sisters are still not home.
yet.

hah.

i was that close to either ton with siraj they all at simpang
or sleep over saqinah's house.

just because there wasnt anymore buses
when i went out of saqinah's house. -_-'
haha.

thank goodness for azmi.
who waited for me.

felt sooo guilty for asking asrul a favour.
to send me home. -_-'
man.

turns out he wasnt feeling well.
guilt factor went up.

finally,
went home by cab.
[ thanks to saqinah's contribution. -_-' ]

went to azam at marsiling cc with saqinah and fizah.
bumped into azra'ie.

hmmm.
the event wasnt all that exciting ah.
but its ok.

at least get to meet the others.
from nypms and npmss.
haha.

went to tampines.
ate at burger king with saqinah.
walk around tampines mall.
and then to her house.

hah.

basically spent the last day of 2005 with saqinah.
heh.

last year.
well.

remembered i spent the last day with dewi, fizah and ana.
haiz.
miss them lots. =(

thats all for today.

friday. 301205.
was the outing for ittihadul qulub.

eleven of us which was initially 39 or more came.
haha.

it was ok.

nurikhwan : wani. me.
npmss : taufik. ain. nizam.
rpmcg : zul.
spmls : arif. raudha. faizul. rahman. hisham.

yeahh.
that was all.
eleven. =D

it was really really really fun.
heh.

the nypms couldnt make it.
but its ok.
next time. =)

played bowling first.
walked to masjid hajjah fatimah for asar.
then we walked to this place, to eat.
after that, we walked to masjid maulana for maghrib.
stop by singapore river to take pictures.
finally went to esplanade.
[ taking more pictures. -_-' ]

thats basically what we did.

a lot of walking.
a lot of picture taking.
and i mean a LOT.
haha.

never have i gone out with a group whos into picture taking.
haha.

well.
its already as i said first january.

theres no more days left.
and i still havent made up my decision.

haiz.

should i or shouldnt i???
thats the question.

but.

as nizam had mentioned,
i should just keep the guy.
and let things as it is.

dont move forward
nor backward.
heh.

been thinking.
missing.

i dont know.

i guess i never will
unless someone made the first move.
[ which wouldnt be me. =p ]

as i've said,
let time tells its tale.

as of today,
im single and looking.

or
am i ???

have i found ???

wallahualam.

2005-12-30T03:07:00.000+08:00

assalamualaikum.

well.
its 5 plus am.
again.

another night of insomnia.
or is it?
heh.

haha.

2 days has passed since the last entry.
let me just wrapped it up.

wednesday, 281205.
happy 18th birthday to sahabatku, rohana. =D

ok.

came to school to meet up wani and saqinah.
took bus and train to buena vista.
meeting the ntums girls.

took bus to nus.

in brief,
there was a meeting for the collaboration of muslimah night.
5 tertiary institutions :
nus. nur ikhwan [ tp ]. npmss. ntums. splms.

found out that the in charge of the event is sarah.
sajeedah's cousin. -_-'
what a small world.
haha.

well.

became the assistant to sarah.
heh.

went to haig road.
eat mutton chop with sarah and saqinah.
home to sleep after that.
hah.

thursday. 291205.

went to smu with razif.
presentation meeting with the smu silat group.
hmmmm.

then.
go to school to have a meeting with my other comm members.
the five of us excluding qahar,
invent our own bunga-bunga.

our trademark. =)

we settle on a name.
simply called.

SILAT TEMASEK.

going to have our first training next week, wednesday.
not sure many will turn up
but.
fingers crossed. -_-'

then.

rushed to fmsa.
for a talk by dr ahmad albakri.

changing da'wah landscape : how do we fit in?

talked with the others there.
went home with ruqayyah.

now, today. 301205.

outing with the itqanians.
ittihadul qulub.
hope it would turn out fine. =)

meeting lukman also to take the video that was taken in medan.
last year. -_-'
hah.

and i still havent slept.
man. -_-'

ok.

this post,
i wont put any sad stories.
hah. -_-'

just tired.
thats all.

hope that my brain can just shut off.
so that i can sleep. =p

want to take sleeping pill.
but scared.

scared that i would sleep the whole day
and missed the things that i have to do.

man.

have to rest.
somehow.
but not now.

maybe on sunday.
heh.

busy busy busy.
with meetings.
all this week.
heh.

still.
amidst all this busyness,
that thought still comes to mind.

that feeling which pulls at my heart and soul now.
scary. creepy.

a lingering thought in my mind.
have i missed?

maybe.

theres still 2 more days.
till 2006.

lets just see.
insyaallah.

2005-12-28T00:55:00.000+08:00

assalamualaikum.

man.
i am tired. -_-'

my fingers are shivering now,
typing.
my head is spinning.

but.

i have to post up.
haha.

let me wrap up yesterday.
hmmm.

went to the khalifah talk in the morning at istiqamah with sarah and saqinah.
turns out quite a number of NI members coming.
cool. =D

quite a number of them there i know.
from saff. fmsa. np. nypms.
WHEEE~!!!!

the speaker is prof muhammad al-mahdi.
a convert professor who is ailing.
overall, it was a nice talk ahhh.

psychological stuff.
scientific.
cool.

but.

too many talk ahhh.
very tiring.
just sitting down.

sleeepy sehhh.

hmmm.
it ended around 6.

then we had a mini-meeting.
between NI.
about this saturday.

confirmed.
retreat is postponed to chinese new year.

then,
sarah and me was on our way to the meeting at marsiling cc.

haha.

funny thing was,
we went out of istiqamah around 7 and reached at 8.30
whereas,
remy whom went out around 8,
came at the same time as us.
hah.

well.
the thing is,
we took around 3 buses while remy took the train.
haha.

and.

we got lost.
haha.

long story. =p
[ sarah sarah. haha. ]

well.
the meeting was attended by some old people.
haha.
and the other leaders of the clubs.

nypms : remy.
rpmcg : liyana.
spmls : hidayat.
npmss : nizam.
nur ikhwan : me and sarah.

finally we went back around 10 plus.
damn tired sehh when finally get back home. =p

then today.

hmmm.
went to school around 2.
met up with the people who took away the stuff at admin block.
[ the main mussolah. ]

haiz.

really headache thinking about it.
tp sucks sehh.

the principal is soo arghhhh.
want to have a mussolah also very hard.
haiz.

for now,
the admin block cant be used.
unless we come out with an alternative.

for now,
the guys will continue praying there but use file or something.
whereas.
the girls can go to the ITAS blocks to pray.

thanks. =)

then me, fizah and sarah went to city hall.
have to meet up with bro shahrizal.
who is interested with the preg-talk.

basically me, fizah, imran, sarah and wani came down for the meeting.
it was ok.
found out that he was from npmss.
what a small world. -_-'

after that the four of us excluding imran,
went to komala to eat.
then we went to masjid maulana near singapore river.

cool sehh.
its underground. =D

met kak liejah and kak zakiah.
haha.
small world.

then at last me and sarah went to tampines mall.
to find a present for my sister.

the star and the moon.
fizah's analogy.

its still in my head.

she had mentioned it to me just now.
again.

and again,
i thought about it.

but.

its more stronger.
the thoughts.
it actually pulls something in my heart.

i dont know.

theres 3 more days to 2006.
maybe.
just maybe.

i might let myself care again.
for someone.

but.

the fear is there.
still.

as nizam had said,
love a guy who loves you more.

i am not even sure whether that guy likes me.
it might not be mutual.
but.

argh.

not going to hope.
thats one thing that i've learnt during my past relationship.

not to hope.

and thus,
i am not.

though.

haiz.

let time and fate tells its tale.
insyaallah.

there might be a possibility.

2005-12-28T00:52:00.000+08:00

the nur ikhwan guys and girls. [ who came for the khalifah talk. ] girls : { fizah, khadijah, me, sarah, saqinah. } guys : { asrul, imran, salim, hafiz. }

2005-12-28T00:49:00.001+08:00

taking a picture in..... the toilet.

2005-12-28T00:49:00.000+08:00

NI main girls. hehe. [ me, saqinah, sarah, khadijah. fizah taking the pic. ]

2005-12-28T00:47:00.001+08:00

tea break. =D

2005-12-28T00:47:00.000+08:00

the nypms girls. [ aina, mardhiah, hazirah, hawanis ]