Monster War.

aSsaLamuaLaiKum...

theres only one thing tat can b said for 2day... please please please dun wish me hapi birthday anymore... please 4get tat it is even my birthday... remember k... it is juz a waste of information in ur brain... juz throw it away... all i noe tat tis is by far e worst birthday... n i hav myself to blame for it... all my birthdays were nvr hapi for me... so i cant stand it anymore if any1 say hapi birthday... if i cld, i wldnt wan 2 have a birthday at all... i hate myself for feelin this way... overall... i juz hate myself... so whoevr out there who loves 2 say bad stuff abt me, please do... u r free to... go on... say watevr u wan 2 say... at least now u noe tat i hate myself... so it doesnt matter reli... i noe im not a gd person... i sucks... i watevr bad thing it is k... if u guys say im a faker, then yes... im a faker... i wld nvr blame u guys xcept myself...

seriously i thought well, tis yr wld b different since well, i thought tat i had met some1 special.... some1 whom i cld finally celebrate my birthday wit... but... all day long, i've been wit myself... alone... 1 thing is, i cant blame my frenz coz they r bz wit their lives... tats y im blaming myself... i hate myself... for thinkin tat they actuali hav time 2 spend time wit me... esp on my birthday... i understand that all of them hav their reasons... tats y again, i blame myself... i apologise tat u guys actuali noe me... juz 4get abt it...

i shld hav known tat tis birthday wldnt b different as e others... 1 thing is well... watevr it is... i dunno anymore... i juz feel tat theres no more meanin ah... i've been hopin n hopin tat well, it might b different... i reli wonder how does it feels like tat for once, bein in e shoes of some1 who is hapi on their birthday... bein surrounded wit their love ones... even now e situation in my house is not tat pleasant... i gues its my bad luck...

if only my frenz didnt make a big fuss of my birthday b4... i wldnt hav anticipate somethin 2 happen... n nothin happen... i cant even tink of anythin memorable or hapi from my birthdays.... mayb i shld hav juz stayed at home durin my birthday... at least, i noe tat i'll b juz content watchin tv n not hav any contact wit e outside world...

im not makin any1 feelin guilty here or anythin... juz wan 2 xpress wat i feel... n i apologise if wat i say is wrong... i nvr intend to hurt any1 or make any1 feel guilty... i blame it all to myself... totally... 2 those who remembered, thanks a lot... i do appreciate it... =) i gues, its time 4 me 2 go off... hav 2 4get tat 2day actuali happens... tat 1 Feb nvr exists anymore in my life...