Monster War.

aSsaLamuaLaiKum....

finally... i changed my layout... well... its only temporary coz well, i prefer my previous layout... so soothing... but well, my life is now quite confusing... thus, e layout i guess.... following my mood now.... though i tried to avoid tis kind of layout... haiz... 2day i juz sit at home... tried 2 do my project but... like very lazy seh... haiz... stupid nmm... must upload it 2moro... =p im out of ideas for my website ah... dunno wat else to put... haiz....

life is still the same... actuali might possibly getting worser and worser... i noe i noe... i hav 2 find a job but not now... i cant do tat coz exams r comin like in... 16 DAYS!!! oh mon diEu... haiz... n some more 1st paper is bus stats... well, one good news is tat i didnt fail my coursework... e teacher told me tat she helped me 2 pass it... n then she warn me 2 do better in my exams... yes MDM... =p warn me to go for the remedial lecture... yeah2... im goin la... =p haha... well at least somethin turn out rite... =p haiz... feelin so tired... im gettin sick... haiz... i feel guilty for not goin for erwan's bro's weddin... haiz... sori eh wan... i dun feel like goin out 2day...

haiz... though now i crave for a fren... u noe... some1 to talk wit... crap wit... hear n not justify wat i hav 2 say but... i dunno who to approach... n some more they r bz... haiz... now, im not sure wats goin on... my lovelife 4evr suck ah... haiz... tis is e reason y i dun wan 2 b in a relationship... haiz... one sided again... always me... why why??? i shldve known tat it was 2 good to be true when some1 tell me tat he loves me... y do i still fall for it... now im e one who has fallen in deep n u wan 2 get out... haiz... why why cant i hav some1 who reli loves me... who understands me e way i m... who reli cares for me... haiz... haha... stupid of me... as usual... no1 can stand me ah... i m tat bad...

tis is such a bad time for me to be in tis kind of state... tis kind of situation... wit exams comin up... my dad still hasnt come home as usual... haiz... i reli pity my mum... hes e perfect example y i dun wish 2 get married... haiz... guys put their frenz first rather than family or loved ones... haiz... im feelin so alone... so tired... i dunno... i reli dunno... who would actuali b willing to help me... any1 out there??? haiz... though i hav lots of frenz n some who i considered my best frenz, i dunno wat i reli mean 2 them... i shldnt expect anythin coz well... who m i to mean anythin 2 them... haiz...

im scared... scared of losin u... if u had wanted 2 get rid of me, pls dun say tat u love me b4... u r contradictin urself... its juz infatuation... dun make me fall in deep until i dunno how 2 get back the way i m... i had fallen once... then i made myself to fall again coz i thought tat u r reli serious abt it... but... i dunno... i reli dunno... im sori tat i add on 2 ur list of commitments... tis is reli not the best time for tis to happen... soo many things happen in such a short time... i almost broke... broke i tell u... haiz... my brain's dead... my heart.... tawar.... wat do i mean to u... do i actuali mean somethin to u... will anyone care if i actuali died? can i pls dun exist in tis world?

i have 2 b strong... strong for my family... but... can i maintain it...??? oh Allah... pls give me strength...