Monster War.

aSsaLamuaLaiKum...

haiz... feelin quite sad now i gues... waitin n waitin... but nothin... supposed 2 sleep by now coz i hav 2 reach skool by 8.30 to meet up wit my comm skills grp but... haiz... my heart n mind juz cant switch off yet... im tired... exhausted n sleepy but... i cant sleep yet... well... yesterday met up wit him... to talk... haiz... i dunno ah... juz feel... haiz... i also dunno how 2 explain... oh ya... met amin also... terserempak... haha... finally talk 2 him... =p haiz... i juz cant stop sighin... oh ya... my dad finally came home yesterday... finally... i was pissed off at him... now too but im juz too tired to b pissed off anymore... let him b wat he wan it 2 b...

2day juz basically spent e day wit my comm skills grp coz we were preparin for the script for the meetin 2moro... haiz... juz 1 more test n 1 more 'project' to go... then its EXAM TIME!!! ARGH!!! my coursework all sucks... most disappointin is my accounts... haiz... juz manage to get a C+... die die... n tats my only 'best' subject... well... then after skool, thought of goin 2 rock after meetin up wit my comm skills grp but well... i was plannin 2 wear skirt 2moro... so i went off to tamp to buy wit saj... haha... wan 2 try out only... well... haiz... thought mayb cld meet him 2moro... at least u noe since i cant spend time wit him alone, i dun mind spendin time wit him n his frenz too... haiz...

im juz wonderin reli... wat is it abt me tat no guy can actuali hold on or even wan 2 hold on to...? haiz... k la... i tink its useless to ask tat... no1 can ans i gues... haiz... yesterday i was tryin 2 4get everythin... was hyper n crazy n all... but then suddenly, i was feelin damn sad... cldnt hold it anymore... cried awhile and talk a bit wit julie... reli helps i gues... i gues i was juz scared of e outcome wat it will happen after we talk... haiz...

i dunno... i reli dunno... its like i reli dunno wat else to do anymore... it reli hurts... y do i hav 2 fall in love wit some1 who isnt even sure of whether he does love me... but i gues i cant say anythin anymore... it already happens... do u noe tat im like livin in fear... fear of losin him... fear tat he will msged me n ask tat he reli wans 2 break up... fear tat all i did was all to waste... fear tat he is holdin on to me out of pity... someone would like to come n take out my heart? please... but i tink its already broken to a million pieces... somehow... ala... haiz... dah start gile ah ni... k la.. i tink i better go n sleep... juz hav 2 tink of Allah... n im sure i'll b fine... =) tataz...