Monster War.

aSsaLamuaLaiKum...

haiz... juz came back from overnite studyin at aiport wit him n his frenz... haiz... then see my fon bill oledi come... haiya... luckily its a bit lesser than e previous month... haiz... now i cant get to sleep... i dunno y ah... haiz.... yesterday after accounts paper, went off wit raquel... supposedly wan 2 go tamp walk2... then saj call... haiya... haha... so both me n raquel go n teman her eat lo... after tat we walked at bedok reservoir... sekali met wit apek... was smokin wit his grp of frenz... tegur him 4 awhile... sayin he action lo... haha... then walk a few metres, met up wit azmi... haha... waliao... wat luck... runnin into both my best frenz at e same place... both got a scoldin from me... nvr keep in contact... hmppph!!! haha... no la... oh well... so finally we all went home... my 1st time in yrs i came home arnd 1 plus... haha... felt a bit weird... slept for awhile...

woke up arnd 7... waited for his msg... was quite worried coz i scared tat he doesnt wan me 2 kacau him or somethin... then while i was prayin, he msged me... hehe... wEeeee!!! =) he dun mind me goin study wit him n his frenz... tis might possibly e last nite can spend studyin... basically there, didnt study much coz my paper is on sat n i was distracted by taiti... haha... was ok ah... kinda enjoyed myself wit them... crackin up jokes n all... i was laughin all e while... gues tats y im not sleepy... even now... can still tahan abt 7 hrs more... some more now... haiz... mixed feelings... seriously....

feelin sooo restless now... haiz... dunno who to talk to with... i wan 2 let my hair down somehow 2day... enjoy!!! hahaha... but i dunno wit who n do wat... =p haha... wan 2 go out wit him... juz enjoy ourselves but... well... i tink tat somehow he still tinks tat im juz borin... or somethin wrong wit me... haiz... ive let myself fall sooo deep tat i dunno how 2 get out of it... e only way for me to get back is for him 2 giv me back my heart... haiz... coz, well... i noe he wont need my love... i dunno.. im juz soOoo confused.... dunno wat is he feelin now... n wat abt tat gal... haiz... wat can i do... wat must i do.... i myself now dunno whether wan or not 2 go australia... one factor is e money... i dun hav enough cash... but tat i cld take on 2 jobs durin e holidays... e other... haiz... how can i say tis... i wan 2 spend more time wit him... i dunno... at least, tryin 2 his close fren somehow... then lets juz c from there...

haiz... now im juz waitin for some1 2 say tat they can go out wit me... haha... damn bored... dun tink i can sleep niwae... thinkin juz 2 much.... feelin sooo bad of myself... hate tat im feelin jealous... nvr in my life hav i let jealousy interfere wit my life... even though i had felt jealousy b4, it is not as tis bad... n i reli hate it... Allah... pls show me the truth n help me wit tis... giv me strength... can i dun feel for awhile??? pls... haiz...